This is the story of an averted homicide. I should start out by saying I did not strangle her. Partially because she was too far away, but also because I to, am often in need of grace. This averted homicide took place in the most unlikely of places, during a discussion about motherhood. I was in the process of describing my awe at the rich depth and complexity of the process of being and becoming a mother. This woman leapt forward with the statement, “Well that’s easy, all you have to do is give birth” and gave me a look like, duh aren’t you stupid. No strangling took place, but I sat rocked at the depths of her ignorance and apparent lack of real- life experience. I have watched many women become mothers through such varied, lengthy and often torturous circumstances having nothing to do with an actual physical birth. In my reverent observance of this transformation to motherhood, I have seen all women go through an emotional birth into motherhood, sometimes initiated before the child is even known. What varies is the physical aspects, whether it involves torturously long labor pains or torturously long court pains. No one should refute or belittle the pain that is indwelling in the process of becoming and in being a mother. Women should not have to defend their right to call themselves a mother however they acquired their children or further more whether their children are still living or not.
I write to celebrate and defend motherhood. As mothers we gain strength in unity. Strength cannot be gained behind a front of perfection but rather in integrity. I need other Christians to lift me up when I fail and remind me of why I walk in the first place. I write to encourage others and to be encouraged.
I created this blog not as a perfect mother but as a flawed mother, battered and bruised by life. A mother with a depth of understanding felt within my own heart or seen within the heart of those I love, of the joy and pain of receiving the gift of motherhood. I am a mother in constant need of replenishing. I have found the one true source to sustain me, Jesus Christ. I have come to realize my Christian walk is my ‘mother walk’ they cannot be separated. As my obedience to Christ improves my ability to be a mother improves. It is my highest calling that in all things and at all times I point my children to Christ and show them the path of obedience.
As their mother I cannot bear their cross. For in their struggles they are transformed. They are becoming who they were created to be. This does not take place in the shelter of my arms but in the example of my obedience. I cannot attempt to shelter them from the pain of their choices or the life they have been given in order to reduce my own pain. I must trust in the living God, Jesus Christ with my most precious gifts my children. This truth has been both life-giving and exquisitely painful at the same time. I need other mothers to come alongside me in this walk.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (NIV)
Prayer: Lord Jesus you have begun this process of creating a mother, worthy of this calling and I trust that You will complete a good work within me. Holy Spirit bring into remembrance the scriptures that keep me focused on Christ and keep my path steady toward You. I don’t want to wander off into my own desires or thoughts of what is right I need Your steady hand on my life. You have entrusted me with these children and I ask that you grant me the wisdom and strength to carry out the calling of motherhood. Provide me with divine connections to other women on this difficult and rewarding journey. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.