Foaming at the mouth!

“Have you ever seen your mother foam at the mouth?”

This rhetorical question became the challenge of the day my children wholeheartedly took.

When I questioned this scheme Gabe responded, “You taught me to aim high mom.”blog 6-21

The rest of afternoon was filled with scream fest 2017(at least my kids are creative) and a surprise attack spray bottle game.  This game consisted of trying to catch someone off guard and spray them in the face, while of course squealing in delight.  No one could leave a room for fear of ambush.

I pray this over you and myself.

Colossians 1:11 (in quotations)

I pray: being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience” to carry out the plans He created for you before your birth.  May your patience and endurance run deeper and stronger than your to do list so that you might experience God’s joy in your everyday life. Help us to rest in your joy in all the moments of our lives. Thank You, Amen.

Mother Instinct- is it real?

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The twist of an ankle sent me crashing forward in space.  Abigail my two year old barely awoke snuggled into my neck “safe” in my arms.

Protective reactions created within us by God dictate my arms would shoot out in front of me to protect my body.  Instead, I tucked Abby in deeper and my elbows came up.  Instantaneously my body moved not by my will or by my might but instantaneously. I roll to my back as I writhe in pain Abigail remained snuggled. She finally fully awoke when two of my other children ran up the stairs and began shouting, “Are you okay?”

God created all of us with protective reactions to shield our heads from trauma.  My reactions of protecting Abigail went against my original creation design.  After this experience, I realized God changed my original creation design from protecting me into protecting my children.  He created within me new mother protective reactions.

This thought blew up in my mind. If He can create the ability within me, to do what is best for my children, without thinking, and without effort, maybe I should ask Him to do this in other areas of my life.

  • Lord Jesus, come in to my mother’s decisions
  • Lord Jesus, come in to the discipline of my children
  • Lord Jesus, come in to my mothering conversations
  • Lord Jesus, come in to my marriage
  • Lord Jesus, come in to my workplace

 

There is no place that the Lord cannot transform- no place, except that which we hold back from Him because of our own misguided will. Release your will from the areas of your life God wants to touch.

Psalm 139:7-12 (NIV)

 Where can I go from your Spirit?     Where can I flee from your presence?  If I go up to the heavens, you are there;     if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn,     if I settle on the far side of the sea,  even there your hand will guide me,     your right hand will hold me fast.  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me     and the light become night around me,”  even the darkness will not be dark to you;     the night will shine like the day,     for darkness is as light to you.

 

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I release my will from every area of my life that You want access to. Please, create a switch with in my mind that my very instincts, the reactive part of my being be transformed and conformed to the mind of Christ.  Align the very synapsis of my brain to the Word and Will of God so that I am unable to react in a way that deviates my actions from Christ.  Let it be.  Thank you, Jesus.  Amen

 

Join me in this leap of faith- believe that Christ can do what He says.

Stop hiding and begin enjoying your freedom, bought and paid for by Christ.

Have you ever had a supernatural mother experience? I would love to hear about it.

 

Home before Dark

 

“Home before dark, my special girls.” Grandpa called out, as he bent to kiss the top of Grandma’s head. My sister and I smiled as we finished our breakfast.

We waited for Grandpa on the front porch; the squeak of the swing kept us company as Grandma sang our favorite songs.  Our spirits soared, as we discussed which flavor of ice-cream we were going to devour.  The beauty of the sunset, hushed us momentarily. Darkness settled in stealthy at first, almost drifting in, but now it was fully settled and oppressive in its finality.  The anxiety began to scurry out, the “what-ifs”.  Hadn’t Grandpa promised to be home before dark? If I am so special why do I need to wait? What happened?  Tension grew, as we watched Grandma force smiles through stiffened lips, in between hurried glances at the horizon.  The message, “We should worry”, was heard loud and clear.

Grandpa’s rust red truck burst over the hill; relief flooded us.  The answer to our question would he show up, was answered.  Why the delay- I still do not know.

Hosea 12:6

Therefore, return [in repentance] to your God,

Observe and highly regard kindness and justice,

And wait [expectantly] for your God continually. (AMP)

            The Hebrew word for wait and hope are the same.  If you are waiting you are hoping.  The waiting with expectation puts our hearts out there to be hurt.  When we are given what we think is the lesser thing or worse yet when life is immersed in pain- this is hardly what we expectantly desired.  It wasn’t the ice-cream treat.  We are left feeling unloved and unnoticed as our hearts lay crushed.

For God’s word to say, we should wait continually, not so subtly implies we may need to hope and pray through ‘impossible’ situations.  When we wait, continually expecting the Lord to show up, there is sweetness in the release.  The trick is the release– not to let the anxiety, worries, and “what-ifs” scurry into our lives and take control where God should be in control. I openly confess I haven’t mastered the skill of full surrender yet. I have a hard time submitting control if the waiting has anything to do with my children.  My own pain and struggle is tolerable, but to see my children flounder is torture.

Lord Jesus, we submit our longings and our pain to You.  We proclaim and declare we will not lean on our own understanding, but release our worries to You, no matter how long we wait.  The creator of the Universe has got this and He will show-up.  We praise You for the victory already obtained and we praise You when we do not get what we wanted, when we wanted it.  Grant us the peace that passes human understanding as we continually wait with great expectation for our King.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

 

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Homicide averted

wushuThis is the story of an averted homicide. I should start out by saying I did not strangle her. Partially because she was too far away, but also because I to, am often in need of grace.  This averted homicide took place in the most unlikely of places, during a discussion about motherhood.  I was in the process of describing my awe at the rich depth and complexity of the process of being and becoming a mother.  This woman leapt forward with the statement, “Well that’s easy, all you have to do is give birth” and gave me a look like, duh aren’t you stupid.  No strangling took place, but I sat rocked at the depths of her ignorance and apparent lack of real- life experience. I have watched many women become mothers through such varied, lengthy and often torturous circumstances having nothing to do with an actual physical birth.  In my reverent observance of this transformation to motherhood, I have seen all women go through an emotional birth into motherhood, sometimes initiated before the child is even known.  What varies is the physical aspects, whether it involves torturously long labor pains or torturously long court pains.  No one should refute or belittle the pain that is indwelling in the process of becoming and in being a mother.  Women should not have to defend their right to call themselves a mother however they acquired their children or further more whether their children are still living or not.   

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I write to celebrate and defend motherhood.  As mothers we gain strength in unity.  Strength cannot be gained behind a front of perfection but rather in integrity.  I need other Christians to lift me up when I fail and remind me of why I walk in the first place.  I write to encourage others and to be encouraged. 

            I created this blog not as a perfect mother but as a flawed mother, battered and bruised by life. A mother with a depth of understanding felt within my own heart or seen within the heart of those I love, of the joy and pain of receiving the gift of motherhood.  I am a mother in constant need of replenishing.  I have found the one true source to sustain me, Jesus Christ. I have come to realize my Christian walk is my ‘mother walk’ they cannot be separated.  As my obedience to Christ improves my ability to be a mother improves. It is my highest calling that in all things and at all times I point my children to Christ and show them the path of obedience. 

As their mother I cannot bear their cross.  For in their struggles they are transformed.  They are becoming who they were created to be.  This does not take place in the shelter of my arms but in the example of my obedience.  I cannot attempt to shelter them from the pain of their choices or the life they have been given in order to reduce my own pain.  I must trust in the living God, Jesus Christ with my most precious gifts my children.  This truth has been both life-giving and exquisitely painful at the same time.  I need other mothers to come alongside me in this walk.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (NIV)

Prayer: Lord Jesus you have begun this process of creating a mother, worthy of this calling and I trust that You will complete a good work within me.  Holy Spirit bring into remembrance the scriptures that keep me focused on Christ and keep my path steady toward You.  I don’t want to wander off into my own desires or thoughts of what is right I need Your steady hand on my life.  You have entrusted me with these children and I ask that you grant me the wisdom and strength to carry out the calling of motherhood.  Provide me with divine connections to other women on this difficult and rewarding journey.  Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

 

‘Stand in’

ABBBY SICK

The ER nurse turned to my husband and said “You are her Savior” as my husband held my youngest daughter down, while they jabbed at her with the second attempt at an IV. Her pathetic screams easily penetrated the hallway where I waited with my sons. He quickly replied, “No, I am not her Savior, Jesus Christ is but I will be His stand in”.

My God has provided me with such a wonderful earthly father to my children. He is a great ‘stand in’ or representation of Christ to my children. They experience their father’s sacrifice and love in his daily interactions with them.

John provides stability, a sense of self, protection and fierce love to our children. Just as Christ does. This weekend John was with me every moment as we woke up our youngest daughter, every two hours to get two ounces of fluid down her with a syringe. I could not love John more than I do when I see his self- sacrifice for our children. He provides for them as their father what I cannot and I am eternally grateful. He gives them an understanding of what a father’s love is, and this understanding frees them to run into the arms of Christ without reservations of the consequence.

In prayer for a friend’s daughter that she might experience stability I received a gift far greater than the prayer I was providing her. I received a greater revelation of what my identity as God’s daughter does for me, now on this earth. You cannot fully integrate a sense of peace and stability into your life until you accept and acknowledge that you are Christ’s daughter or son. In prayer  I began to realize that my understanding of my identity was not fully developed. God is faithful to provide what we need, when we humble ourselves and ask for help in prayer.

 

Prayer: I pray for stability. For Christ’s love to surround me and penetrate to the depths of my understanding of self. Provide for Me a cocoon of protection so that you might transform my life of doubt into a triumph of obedience. Provide stability not as the world provides it but as You do My conquering, Savior. Thank you, Jesus Amen.

Courage and Trust

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Great is the glory of the Lord. You grow in might and stature within my heart with every breathe I receive from You.

Cleanse our speech and purify our words to impart Your truth to those we love. Break apart anything within us that blocks our union with You.

Grant us the knowledge of who we are, so that we might face all challenges with courage and walk upright with integrity.

Lord God, merciful God it is our deepest desire to be filled with the fullness of God, that we may have the richest measure of the divine Presence. For we are convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither this present age nor the future, nor any power, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Help us to sit in the stillness of Your peace and let Your love become fully realized in us. Let our trust in You be complete so that we run beneath your wings to find refuge. We declare His faithfulness will be our shield and rampart at every storm.

Your joy gives us strength to be the fulfillment of Your love to our family and friends. Pour Your favor and anointing out upon us and our families so that we might carry out Your will.

We lift up our voices to praise You our living God. Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, holy, holy, holy is the Lord, God Almighty, Who was and is and is to come. All blessing and praise and honor to our King.

Amen.

Romans 8:38-39, Psalm 91:4, Rev. 5:12

Messy Motherhood!!!!

For those of you worried that you aren’t organized enough, clean enough, stylish or even fun anymore.  Remember your kids aren’t interested in how you look or how much is on the calendar.  They are interested in time with you.

When I asked my kids what was some of their favorite moments I got enlightening responses.

Their favorite recent adventure was the unexpected beach moment.  We had no towels, no sun and no swimsuits.  We were driving around trying to find a new beach for next weekend and low and behold we found it.  So what could we do but dive in without swimsuits.  It hadn’t quite rained yet but was dark and promising a down pour.  The water was cool but the temperature was in the 90’s.  No sooner had we waved everyone into the water, when it began to thunder.  With no towels we had to dance in the rain and splash in the water puddles to get off all the sand.   The kids sat on their or their father’s shirts and we laughed the whole way home remembering how ridiculous we looked dancing and shaking in the rain.

Pray:

Lord Jesus help me to remember to put fun into our lives this summer.  Help my family and I to seize joy in every moment we can.  You in-trusted us with our children help us to appreciate the blessings You gave us. Help us to see the precious moments as they unfold and guard them within our hearts. God you are great in all You do.  We love and need You in our lives. amen.