Yuck- was that you or me?

“Don’t pick it up for goodness sake- No, no, no- drop it! Yuck. What is that or should I say was that? No, I mean, no don’t look at it, I don’t want to know.”
“I think it was cheese gone horribly wrong.”
“No, no it’s too big- definitely a hotdog” insist my sons.
“Don’t analyze it boys. Whatever it is, it just needs to get thrown out. Okay, who’s doing it?”

file0001620437887( slowfoot, Morguefile)

(Of course, we all know this task falls on the mother- and in this case, it most definitely did but only with the help of triple bags. You will be relieved to know I did not look or breathe as I hurled it toward my outdoor far away from my house garbage can – happy to have it gone.)

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The enemy gives us many opportunities to pick up “offense”. To look at something nasty and analyze it, categorize it and spend hours researching it. We of course call it airing our grievances or complaining. But what is it really? What are we trying to gain?

Yes, plans of action need to be created. We need to answer the question, what should be done to avoid this in the future? (Never allowing food in the van again would be a smart plan of action in my case)

               We are under no charge or even obligation to point out someone else’s faults. In fact, we have no rights to point out anything someone else should “work on”. We lie to ourselves and say we are telling them in love for their own good. Do not believe Satan’s lies.

Remember this: Matthew 7:5
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. (NIV)

                The Holy Spirit has more than enough power to go about His task of convicting God’s children. When the Holy Spirit brings a person into and under conviction- forgiveness and miraculous changes, can, and will take place. When a person puts another person under condemnation, they are doing the direct work of Satan.

Consider and answer the question for yourself- Where is Satan?

                  Satan is not God and therefore is not omnipresent. Meaning he can only be in one location at a time, (his minions of course are all about). Where is Satan himself?
When I read Revelations 12, I read Satan is in heaven doing his job of accusing us night and day. What do you read?
This leads us to the next question is Revelations prophecy of the age to come or is it present day?

Revelations 12:10 (NIV)
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.

            (read the entire chapter of Revelations 12 to see the context and determine if it is present day or in the days to come)
If it is in the time to come then Satan is in heaven right now accusing us night and day.
If Revelations 12 has already happened – Then what are we seeing?
I myself believe that Satan is right now in heaven accusing Christ followers night and day but he will be thrown down at the appointed time.

This makes me ask, who are those left on earth to accuse the Saints? Demons for sure but also the brethren themselves turning against each other to accuse and condemn other Christ followers.

Do not be the voice, or hands and feet of Satan.

Lord, help us to remember:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:10-12

Do not work for Satan!

               Drop your offense, anger, resentment and pride at the foot of the cross and go into battle for your “enemy”. The one who stole from you, the one who accused you, the one who hurt your child, the one who disrupted your plans- pray and fight for that one. Stand.

Luke 6:27-28 But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. (NIV)

                 Prayer: Lord Jesus, how easily I am offended when my plans are thwarted. Thank you, for showing me where I need the cleansing blood of the Lamb. I praise You for this current painful situation. Use it to reveal to me what sins need to be removed from me. Pour out Your blood all over my life and my situations. I need Your healing and forgiveness. Please forgive me for not immediately following Your word and praying for my enemies. Grant me the mind and heart of Christ so that I might not stumble but that I might be granted the privilege of immediate and complete obedience to Christ. Thank You for Your tender mercies. Amen.

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Does God heal?

         I proclaimed and declared that when my son was healed that the money that would have gone to the surgery which was $2,500 would go to a safe house my friend started for women rescued from sex- trafficking.

Great idea right?
Did God deliver a miraculous healing?-NO

Why?

Did my thought patterns not align with the Word of God?
Did He not want my son healed?
Did He think money spent on surgery was better than money spent on redeeming brutalized women?

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        Those questions scream absurdly, staring at me from this white page! – Yet, when they bounce around in my own head, the pain twists and turns these questions into plausible statements.

I struggle to rid my thoughts of the lies of the enemy.

 

Why does my child have to go through pain?

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(krosseel, morgue file)

             There is only one solution to my pain and confusion and it is exquisitely painful and exquisitely simple. Take it to the cross and press into Christ.

             What does that mean? I don’t go perfect and I don’t go with any answers, I just acknowledge He is God and I am not. The Cross has covered my pain in His blood. I know someday the pain will lesson and maybe I will see clearer. For now it is more than enough to lay myself before Him because He is more than enough.

              I confessed I let my pain in seeing my child suffer and those feelings of loss of control shift my reliance mechanism.

             I shifted from total reliance on Christ the Creator of the Universe who loves my son more than I do, to reliance on man. Kind of a silly trade off to say the least.

REDEMPTION

Romans 8:1-2, Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

          I confessed my sins of making the medical experts and man my idol instead of going to Christ first. This freed me to see the Truth.

Romans goes on to say, 2-” because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. (NIV)

Christ’s death allows me to find healing from pain. I don’t need to live in condemnation of the enemy I can stand up and keep walking.

I still have questions:

Does God heal? – Yes

Does God heal through the medical field? – Yes

We must always submit to Christ first and see what His plan is and not our own. What does He want done.

Romans 8:28 (NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

My messing up, by not acknowledging Him right away in this pain process did not, could not and will not deter God’s purposes for the life of my son.

                I know that, the $2,500 will be redeemed for the safe house. I see His work in it now (already)while I gather supplies to take up on Saturday. There is no doubt in my mind by the end of His outpouring of love to these women He will have moved far more than $2,500 for them. His love is so vast it humbles me as I see but a glimpse of it.

His purposes will always find a way even through our broken submission.

Prayer: I acknowledge You,  I don’t know everything but I do know You love me. Cover me in the blood of the Lamb as my mother heart recovers from what feels like a defeat. Show me Your victory Christ.  You have overcome and I am an overcomer through You. Continue to reveal Your great mysteries to Your servants.  I praise You through the pain.  Great is the glory of the Lord and forever He does reign.  Thank You, Jesus.  Amen

The Big “R” word

        Snickers, turned faces, turned away hearts real or imagined torment us.  All the earth faces rejection the enemy seeks to propagate it, fortify it and invites us to slay others with rejection.

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My own pain seems distant. A disconnect far from me but my children’s pain is burning me up, the ache is horrific. I recognize that only God can heal this and rely on His understanding of my children’s earthly rejection.  (Middle school is horrible)

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Spirit of rejection be gone in Jesus name.

Brilliant light emerges and in enters waves of love, joy and peace.  The hushed sounds of our feet vibrating with praise resonate on the cobblestone bricks of gold, we pause to receive the crowns we earned from obedience to Christ by no works of our own.  Great joy erupts as we place our crowns before Christ and every fiber of our being joins in unity of praise to the Maker of the Universe.  Deep unity a living thing moves through us and out toward others.  Feelings of righteousness and belonging smooth out every rough spot within us.

There is no disunity, it is a word unrecognizable in heaven.  There can be no rejection when the Bride of Christ is complete.

Let us live and breathe and make our life in the Truth the eternal truth of Christ’s total acceptance. We were created before time for many purposes that delight God’s heart as He sees them emerge from within us.  Do not let the enemy squelch the joy of your salvation.

Bride of Christ rise up against rejection.

Prayer: We proclaim and declare that rejection; self-rejection, perceived- rejection, and fear of rejection be gone in Jesus name. You no longer have a hold on us. We do not accept the lies of the enemy that we are inferior, a mistake or anything less than the delight of Christ. We will not carry out Satan’s plans to hurt others.  We seek unity in Christ and ask for a great humbling.  Set us free! Search our hearts and reveal our pain so that we might reject the lies of the enemy.  Great is the glory of the Lord and forever He does reign.  There is a void in our beings where rejection once lived and we ask that You bless us with the Spirit of Truth, confidence, love, joy and a deep penetration of acceptance within us. Fill that space with the mind of Christ. Replaces lies with Truth we seek Your face and Your will in all things.  We repent of any actions, thoughts or feelings that produced pain in another person.  Help us Lord Jesus, to know our identity in Christ.  As deep calls to deep, draw us in.  Thank You, Jesus.  Amen.

Every Story

“She’s the mother so she’s in every story.”

            My friend is planning her mother’s ninetieth birthday party and has begun to collect stories she’s quoted in saying, “She’s the mother so she’s in every story, but I am looking for the spectacular ones.”

We mothers are in the story yes, but definitely not in every picture.  Let’s be honest mothers are rarely in any pictures, in fact we have to usually pay someone else to take them for us.

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I am not in this picture but definitely in the story these are my children and their cousins. I told the kids to do “something silly” as a distraction while all the adults cleaned up.  It was one of their favorite memories even though it was completely unplanned and “just something to do to keep them busy.”  These spontaneous things are when life happens.

If I had to choose I would definitely choose to be in the story not the picture. Being fully present in our children’s lives is so important.  More than we know.

1 Peter 3:4

but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God. (AMP)

         I know when I get distracted and let errands and things come before time with my children I most definitely lose my gentle and peaceful spirit.  Let’s face it we need that gentle and peaceful spirit to make it through the day.

Prayer:  Lord, I need help to be fully present with my children let my concerns and anxieties fall as I concentrate on listening and engaging with them. I desire to please You, Lord in thought and deed toward my children and everyone I encounter.  Let a gentle and peaceful spirit be present in me even when it is not my natural reaction to my current life situation. Thank You, Amen.

 

Cleaning- *gasp*

The phone call took a moment it was confirmation of my daughter’s 9:30 and my 10:30 dental appointments. I had set-up the dental visits months earlier knowing it’s importance and loving the feeling of clean teeth.

(My three year old daughter and my sister a dental assistant at Grandgenett dentistry, in Ames, IA.  they were so gentle and she actually had fun!)

Now, the dread set in, the scraping and the potential to find a painful and expensive cavity. Okay, actually two cavities last year.

The same is true of our spiritual life we know we need to submit to the cleaning only Christ can accomplish in our lives. (Christianese would call it sanctification) But knowing it, like setting the appointment is different than taking that confirmation call and committing to the cleaning.

Right when we get to the place we see some potential dirt to remove that *gasp* may require some scraping of our hearts. We bulk, we become busy, we justify our dirt or worse yet sweep it under a rug.

Friends I am right now standing on the edge of a cleaning. The sudden wave of fear actually strengths my resolve to submit to the necessary cleaning. I know I serve an awesome God, whose faithfulness goes far beyond my own. Psalm 119:90 Your faithfulness continues from generation to generation; You have established the earth, and it stands [securely].(AMP)

Because of this Truth I continue to walk toward Him knowing He is who He says He is.

Please pray with me:

Lord Jesus, I now see the place in my heart I am attempting to hide from You. I feel so vulnerable and scared even though I know Your gentleness. I know I will grow closer to You and ultimately will gain a larger space in my heart that rests in Your glory and Your might and not my own. I submit my heart to You and ask You to cleanse me of my lack of trust and faith. Forgive me for my lack of faith and strengthen my walk with You. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

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Psalm 91:4 

He will cover you and completely protect you with His pinions,
And under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and a wall. (AMP)

NOT a cookie cutter!

 

Right now I am being stretched, pushed, and pulled becoming more than I am.

“What am I Play-Doh” I lamented at my walking partner. She didn’t even pause, in stride she blurted, “Yep, pretty much -you are His clay.”

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I cried out to God in need of encouragement and frankly relief. He gently reminded me the alternative. You are not a cookie cutter- a mass produced blob. You can’t be less than who you are. You are not a square, a dinosaur, or some other shape someone else wants you to be. God created you, His original creation design with so much more in mind. This stretching is a restoring. A restoring to the fullness of everything He has for you.

You can stand on the Word.

Romans 11:29
for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. (NIV)

This verse left me wounded and yet energized. It begs the question who is trying to revoke the gift? I didn’t have to look far for the culprit. In my case, I myself was willing to lay it down or at least shelf it for a time, to “rest”. If God’s Word said my gifts and His call to me toward relationship are irrevocable who am I to stand in the way?

Are there ever times that you stand in the way of God?

Prayer: Have Your way God. I refuse to be disobedient. Restore me to my original creation design. Your flawed masterpiece- Heather, asking to be molded into Your image and not my own. Thank you, Amen.

Grace the little homemaker

 

 

Grace and I were headed to get the oil changed and so I asked her to pack a bag with a snack and books.

She informed me that she made herself a sandwich and even put it in a Baggie.  Wow I thought I should get an award.  My four year old making a meal, how resourceful.  I stopped congratulating myself soon after, when I asked what was in it.   She sweetly and quite proudly stated, “m and m’s.”.  Boy were the mechanics impressed.