Homicide averted

wushuThis is the story of an averted homicide. I should start out by saying I did not strangle her. Partially because she was too far away, but also because I to, am often in need of grace.  This averted homicide took place in the most unlikely of places, during a discussion about motherhood.  I was in the process of describing my awe at the rich depth and complexity of the process of being and becoming a mother.  This woman leapt forward with the statement, “Well that’s easy, all you have to do is give birth” and gave me a look like, duh aren’t you stupid.  No strangling took place, but I sat rocked at the depths of her ignorance and apparent lack of real- life experience. I have watched many women become mothers through such varied, lengthy and often torturous circumstances having nothing to do with an actual physical birth.  In my reverent observance of this transformation to motherhood, I have seen all women go through an emotional birth into motherhood, sometimes initiated before the child is even known.  What varies is the physical aspects, whether it involves torturously long labor pains or torturously long court pains.  No one should refute or belittle the pain that is indwelling in the process of becoming and in being a mother.  Women should not have to defend their right to call themselves a mother however they acquired their children or further more whether their children are still living or not.   

me

I write to celebrate and defend motherhood.  As mothers we gain strength in unity.  Strength cannot be gained behind a front of perfection but rather in integrity.  I need other Christians to lift me up when I fail and remind me of why I walk in the first place.  I write to encourage others and to be encouraged. 

            I created this blog not as a perfect mother but as a flawed mother, battered and bruised by life. A mother with a depth of understanding felt within my own heart or seen within the heart of those I love, of the joy and pain of receiving the gift of motherhood.  I am a mother in constant need of replenishing.  I have found the one true source to sustain me, Jesus Christ. I have come to realize my Christian walk is my ‘mother walk’ they cannot be separated.  As my obedience to Christ improves my ability to be a mother improves. It is my highest calling that in all things and at all times I point my children to Christ and show them the path of obedience. 

As their mother I cannot bear their cross.  For in their struggles they are transformed.  They are becoming who they were created to be.  This does not take place in the shelter of my arms but in the example of my obedience.  I cannot attempt to shelter them from the pain of their choices or the life they have been given in order to reduce my own pain.  I must trust in the living God, Jesus Christ with my most precious gifts my children.  This truth has been both life-giving and exquisitely painful at the same time.  I need other mothers to come alongside me in this walk.

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (NIV)

Prayer: Lord Jesus you have begun this process of creating a mother, worthy of this calling and I trust that You will complete a good work within me.  Holy Spirit bring into remembrance the scriptures that keep me focused on Christ and keep my path steady toward You.  I don’t want to wander off into my own desires or thoughts of what is right I need Your steady hand on my life.  You have entrusted me with these children and I ask that you grant me the wisdom and strength to carry out the calling of motherhood.  Provide me with divine connections to other women on this difficult and rewarding journey.  Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

 

The movement of God

God moves in the time between the strike of a question mark and the capitalization of the next sentence in the story of our lives.
When I ask God a question, He often moves in ways far beyond my understanding. Okay so when I say often, I mean always.
It is 2 ½ years ago today when I asked the Lord for someone to disciple me. I was very specific in my request to the Lord. I needed someone who was farther along in their journey with Christ in the gifting of intercession or prayer. When asking God for help we may think that we know what we need or even more laughable we may think we know what we will get. He will always give exceedingly, abundantly more than we can ask or think.

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My petition for a disciple was no exception to the rule of God’s faithfulness and overabundance of love. It was an awkward moment calling a woman that lives across the country, whom I had never met to ask her to be my disciple. She was strangely unfazed by this unexpected phone call. We talked about where I was at in my walk and she in her walk and then we prayed. We have never stopped praying sometimes we pray daily, hourly or sometimes not for weeks.
What we never expected was that two hearts in agreement in prayer under the will of God can transform not only the heart of the person being discipled but the disciple herself. The ripple cast out by our faithful prayers, reached places we would never have dared fathom. There are times during these 2 ½ years where she held me up but just as many times when I held her up. I am eternally grateful that our Great and Glorious God hears not only the words of our prayers but our hearts as well. He knew that I needed a disciple, and whom to give me and he knew that my disciple needed me, our union has been a beautiful blessing in my life. Never think that the quest to come alongside a fellow established our budding Christian is not worth the time or effort.
What Christ grants you when you are in obedience to His Word cannot be measured. Matthew 28:18-20 requires obedience, it is a call to discipleship. But listen to the overflowing God at the end of this scripture, His promises are exceedingly above what we could ask or think. “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. ”
Pray: Lord Jesus help me to not be afraid to ask for someone to be brought into my life to disciple or to be under discipleship with. You are faithful to give us what we need and not what we ask for and for that we are eternally grateful. Hear our hearts Lord even when our words fall short. Provide for us in only the way the great Jehovah-Jireh can. We praise you God. Thank you, Jesus Amen.