Despair revoked, Hope revealed! Part One
Grey wall, stark, ever-present, and monstrous- fear. What have I done? There is no hope, nothing will change. I will cry out forever and none will know my inner heart. None can know my pain or see me. I deserve this, I brought this on. Despair and hopelessness are my constant companion.
Jen’s cry went out as Hannah’s did ages ago. Grant me a child God, not because I deserve it but because your daughter asks. I ask out of a humble heart. Humble enough to know that what the Lord gives belongs to Him. When Hannah exposed her heart to the Lord, her humble petition was heard. Hannah was granted a son. Read 1 Samuel chapter one if you are interested in the biblical account of the life of this prayer filled woman.
When Jen and her husband cried out to the Lord for a child. Days led to years of constant prayers. These petitions were known and heard, God granted them Zoe. Her birth gave life to hope. In Hebrew the word hope comes from the same root word as wait. Times of waiting, create space and time for God to establish miracles within us. During that time of waiting it was discovered that Zoe had a fatal diagnosis. She was not expected to make it to her birth. Jen Stolz was taught the fullness of the word hope from her tiny daughter. Against all the odds Jen was given the gift of Zoe. Zoe’s two hours of life created an eternal ripple both in the spiritual and physical realm.
Jen writes out of a deep well dug by waiting and redeemed by hope revealed. Jen can be found at www.LivingLifeLovingIt.com. She knows of despair, but they are no longer friends. Hope is her constant companion. I don’t know what God has planned for Zoe’s mother and father, but He does not give such a radiant gift, Zoe, to just anyone. Jen’s light will shine, as she continues to benefit from hope revealed in her daughter’s life. I intend to read what God has developed from within her humble heart. I have much to learn about waiting and becoming, within the process of being present in the life God has given me.
Pray: Lord Jesus, You know us, even before you knit us together within our mother’s wombs. We cannot be fully known by other mortals. Our brief encounters and fleeting looks do not reveal our inner beings. You know our inner hearts and redeem us. Thank you, My Savior. We surrender to You our entire beings to receive from You what You desire for us. In the waiting times help us to see Your sovereign hand. We love and need you, Jesus. Thank you, Amen.
Jen writes about her daughter in http://www.livinglifelovingit.com/anencephaly-infant-loss-sorrow/