Despair revoked, Hope revealed! Part two: Being Present


Being Present

The simple message I am about to relay from a dear new friend, a happen stance encounter left me breathless.  Both humbled and awed.  How could I take what she said, and make it into a reality in my life?  Was that possible.

I asked Zoe’s mother, Jen Stolz, what was the one thing that most helped her through the fatal diagnosis and later death of her child?  This was her response.  Choosing to be in the present.  Whatever that present was.  Enjoying every moment of her pregnancy and the few hours she had with Zoe.  She states, “Being present allowed me to experience all my emotions, the good and the hard and allowed me to feel God’s love and presence”.

I read these words and was stunned, they rocked me to my core and left me breathless. Did I ever do that, could I ever do that?  Did I know how to do that?  Maybe there’s a class I can take on that.  Literally all day long I stopped in mid-movement held by the thought of being present. I would go to pull the milk out and be hit in the Spirit.  These thwacks to the gut were simultaneously uplifting and convicting. Being present is a gift we can all receive. Some are better at possessing the gift than others.  I have little to no practice with it. I am always rightfully being told, to be still and sit quietly in anticipation.

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I read one of her husband’s blogs that describes their combined journey of learning the value of being present.  They knew they would never be able to teach Zoe to read, or to ride a bike.  So pregnant Jen took Zoe on a bike ride and read and sang to her.  Jen’s intentional actions of “being present” are quite inspiring.  It leaves me wondering how can I be more present?  Less consumed with what is coming next.  How can I stop playing the “what if” game, tormented with planning and attempting to control life instead of living it?  I declare, that I am going to intentionally live in the present, but I am going to need help.

Lord Jesus, You know how you created me.  I have a difficult time being still and living in the moment.  Lord Jesus I surrender my life to you.  Help me to live in the present and presence of You, in the moments of my everyday life.  Tenderly teach me what you would have me know.  I acknowledge that my children are a gift from you, help me to enjoy that gift. Thank you, Amen.

Please send in comments about how you live in the present, or how you are learning to do so.

Jen writes about the loss of her daughter and her journey in

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Despair revoked, Hope revealed !

Despair revoked, Hope revealed!  Part One

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Grey wall, stark, ever-present, and monstrous- fear. What have I done? There is no hope, nothing will change. I will cry out forever and none will know my inner heart. None can know my pain or see me.  I deserve this, I brought this on.  Despair and hopelessness are my constant companion.

Jen’s cry went out as Hannah’s did ages ago.  Grant me a child God, not because I deserve it but because your daughter asks. I ask out of a humble heart. Humble enough to know that what the Lord gives belongs to Him.  When Hannah exposed her heart to the Lord, her humble petition was heard. Hannah was granted a son.  Read 1 Samuel chapter one if you are interested in the biblical account of the life of this prayer filled woman.

When Jen and her husband cried out to the Lord for a child.  Days led to years of constant prayers. These petitions were known and heard, God granted them Zoe. Her birth gave life to hope. In Hebrew the word hope comes from the same root word as wait. Times of waiting, create space and time for God to establish miracles within us.  During that time of waiting it was discovered that Zoe had a fatal diagnosis.  She was not expected to make it to her birth. Jen Stolz was taught the fullness of the word hope from her tiny daughter. Against all the odds Jen was given the gift of Zoe.  Zoe’s two hours of life created an eternal ripple both in the spiritual and physical realm.

Jen writes out of a deep well dug by waiting and redeemed by hope revealed. Jen can be found at She knows of despair, but they are no longer friends. Hope is her constant companion. I don’t know what God has planned for Zoe’s mother and father, but He does not give such a radiant gift, Zoe, to just anyone. Jen’s light will shine, as she continues to benefit from hope revealed in her daughter’s life. I intend to read what God has developed from within her humble heart.  I have much to learn about waiting and becoming, within the process of being present in the life God has given me.

Pray: Lord Jesus, You know us, even before you knit us together within our mother’s wombs. We cannot be fully known by other mortals. Our brief encounters and fleeting looks do not reveal our inner beings. You know our inner hearts and redeem us. Thank you, My Savior. We surrender to You our entire beings to receive from You what You desire for us. In the waiting times help us to see Your sovereign hand. We love and need you, Jesus. Thank you, Amen.

Jen writes about her daughter in