You can not carry your child’s cross

crossYou can not carry your child’s cross.  Luke 9:23 states,  Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.  We can not pick up their cross but are called to pick up our own personal cross daily.

We can not pick up our children’s crosses it does not work that way.  God created their cross for them.  Their unique attributes and obstacles; some to endure, some to overcome and some to count as pure joy.  All of these obstacles and attributes are blended together to create the masterpiece that is them.  We can not interrupt the process of them “becoming” to reduce our own pain.  I too anguish over my children’s struggles they seem unnecessary, messy, painful and without purpose.  I say to myself, “Surely the Lord would want me to fix this”, when the answer is, “no this is for them to endure” I languish in my pain and allow joy to be stolen from me.

Someone once told me about the process of a butterflies birth and I believe it applies here.  A butterfly once it is cocooned must then bite its way through the cocoon and slowly squeeze itself out millimeter my millimeter as it’s wings slowly unfold they dry.  Someone seeing that pain and slow progress pulled the butterfly out quickly, “saving it”.  This butterfly never did fully develop it’s wings and could not fly.  Because you see in that slow painful process the wings were fully developing.  We can not “ease” the process it is not possible.

Lord help me to stop trying to “ease” the process.  Let me to live in the moment and to feel the joy that you are granting me.  Strengthen me through your joy.  I love you Lord and I trust you with my children.  Take them Lord for you know the plans you have for them.  Grant me the strength to get out of your way.  Help me Lord instead to pick up my own cross.  Do not let me un-shoulder my privilege and my right to bear my own cross.  I need You in my life.  I surrender my motherhood to you.  I love you Lord, Amen.

Women are called to be the conduit of God’s love to our husbands and children.

Women are called to be the conduit of God’s love to our husbands and children.

Our first step is to align ourselves with God’s priorities

How to make a priority list

•    This process will lead you to an understanding of why you must lead your children to God.

•    You can choose to sit down with your husband and write separate lists or brainstorm together.  Use whatever style best fits your relationship.

•    Your first draft will need revising.  Make sure your most important items are at the top.  Define what you mean so that both parents can completely comprehend their joint decisions.

.    Start the process of purposely and systematically developing your children into God’s image

.   Post your list somewhere visible to your husband and you daily.

•    At this point you need to make a plan to carry out your priorities as a team.  When you need help ask and it shall be given.  And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.  Matthew 21:22.

•    Pray together with your spouse for guidance.


Example of your first draft: Shaping my child list/ What do you want for your child?

•    Father

–   Successful

–   Liked

–   Able to provide/make money

–   Happy/ confident

•   Able to talk with authority

–   Sense of belonging

–   Knowledge of where they come from

–   Passion


•    Mother ( this was my list of desires for my children)

–   Loved

–   Kind/caring

–   Able to survive on their own

–   Happy

–   Liked

–   A good father or mother

•   Attentive to their children

•   Able to provide for their family

•   Can teach their children about God

Final draft: What I want for my children

•    My child will have a personal relationship with God.  I will teach my child facts about God and more importantly how to form a relationship with God.  When this is fulfilled:

•   He/she will have peace in the face of  all challenges

•   He/ she will be kind/caring and giving

•   They will be able to provide for their family because God will give them their daily bread

•   They will have eternal life and their eyes will be on heaven and not earth

•   They will have true wisdom that only comes from God, granting them a perspective rarely seen on earth.  This perspective will grant them improved ability to deal with life’s problems; embrace life’s joy and give them confidence.

•   They will know who they are and Whose they are.

•   They will know a love and peace that passes human understanding.

•   The Spirit of Truth will live within them their counselor, comforter and teacher.  They will never be alone.

Clean and creative does that work?

Clean and creative does that work?

I personally am going crazy with the cold weather. My daughter is tired of the same stuff over and over. She loves to paint and create with markers but the clean up is exhausting.

I have her paint with watercolors and crayola washable markers and then its bath time while her masterpieces dry. Cheaper brand “washable” markers don’t wash off. I have no funny pics to prove it but trust me.

She gets to be creative and messy and I just spray it down with the shower. Yeah!!! We both win.

At one point she was upside down painting, the paint tray fell three times and she fell into the paint. In the kitchen that would have drove me crazy but in the tub it just became a funny pic.

Time: God given resource

I’m 37 weeks plus pregnant so time seems to move fast and slow all at once.  Whenever we have natural time clocks going on in our lives its easier to prioritize and get rid of the useless time suckers.  God wants us to be watching our time everyday.

“Experts” whoever they are say whether you are trying to change your diet or your spending habits etc. that you should track your daily habits.  When we make it a priority to use our God given time well, we should also take a week and track our time habits.  What do we say our priorities are?  God, husband, children, friends, hobbies.  Which one actually gets our time?  

If time is a God given resource,which I believe it is.  Then are you using your time like God would want you to?



Measuring with what?

Today I was giving my daughter a bath and just like your children’s bathtubs I have no lack of toys.  My mother in law had given her piles of measuring cups and spoons to play with and she loves them.  I was looking at them and noticed even though they were supposed to be the same measuring size they didn’t look right.  Sure enough when I checked, they were not exact. 

What are you measuring yourself with?  If you are using any man made device or wisdom I can assure you that it is not exact.  It is not measuring what it says it is, and further more is probably completely irrelevant in the eternal realm.

What does God say about you?  For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.  And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.Romans 8:29-30.

He created you, He knitted you together in your mother’s womb and He has a count of the very hairs on your head.  Because He created you and predestined you to become who you are becoming, a transformed heir to the throne.   He also justified you. Justified means; God removed your guilt and penalty of sin at the same time He made you righteous through the blood of Christ.  He is in the process of glorifying you.  Glorification is the ultimate perfection of believers.  What man made device, social network or esteemed degree could measure that?

Your beauty,worth, God given wisdom and ability to succeed is limited only by your ability to submit to God’s plan for you. 

Stop wasting your time measuring when you could be transforming.  

Stop and look at yourself through God’s eyes you are a jewel.

Being your kids super hero


We do a lot of things for our kids. Maybe the most important ones aren’t these great big giant super hero moves. But the more important things we do are the behind the scenes mind grueling day to day things that add up to “being their for them”. Lets face it the picking up of your child’s dirty socks will not end up in the toast at their wedding. But the mom was always there for me she was tirelessly on my side, will. Unfortunately we can’t reach that status of “always being there” without first going through the exhaustive state of “always being there”. Remember what you do does matter. No matter how small and inconsequential it seems. God is watching you and saying, “Thatta girl, love is shown in the service of others”.

Matthew 25:40″And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’
So if you are that mother this weekend, with a sick child that has run out of laundry and can’t sleep because you are listening for the dreaded call of “mom, mom”. Someone is watching and they notice the unconditional love and service you are giving.

Above all else protect the heart- Proverbs 4:23

I first posted this scripture on my wall 2 years ago but it’s meaning and implications for my life have only more recently been manifesting.   When I began to pray on this truth and asking God how He would like for it to play out in my life I began to see the full meaning.  My entire life began to be realigned to prioritize how I lived and treated people, to be most focused on their heart.  I began to see my children’s hearts as precious and fragile.  Their worth beyond compare, their hearts deserved protecting.  And in this world sometimes ferociously protected.  Every  stream of influence however benign looking, was scrutinized not only the media I was putting into my children but into myself.  I got rid of the TV and kept our DVD and VCR so that any movies or shows were approved by me.  I also did this to remove the distraction from my husband and I so that our marriage could be strengthened with the time we spend talking at night not viewing junk.

 I began to look at human interactions, and even conflict as not something to win or conquer. Instead I began to look at the intent of the persons heart behind the comments.  No matter how mean or snippy the comments were when I asked God to reveal the truth behind their words I began to see people for the vulnerable hearts that they are.  I began to pray for the person who made the careless remarks and not waste time on ranting about their behavior. (depending on the severity of the situation I needed to pray sometimes 50x that day to keep my heart safe)  My personal prayer is; Lord Jesus reveal to me, Why did their comment hurt so bad, Why was my heart so vulnerable to their words and what does this person need me to pray for them?  The results were remarkable.  I have always been surprised by God’s answers.  I have never been disappointed by how quickly my own heart healed from any careless humans remarks.  In that healing my caring Savior helped me to see my life and all its little difficulties from an eternal perspective.  I began to see my loving response to that person as a win for God’s team. When I stop and remember to pray, I am always rewarded by new insight into myself and the God I serve.  Every conflict with God’s help has the potential to strengthen my heart.

Protect your heart and the heart of the people you love, no matter how unpopular that is to the rest of the world. 

Flour angels, Why not?


My husband was in the process of discovering information that would ultimately lead to him closing his business and I was waiting for the phone call that one of the children I worked with had passed on. When I got the phone call about the details of the funeral arrangements I was sitting on my dinning room floor holding the wall up. My daughter was mysteriously quiet. She had decided to get out a scoop and pour the flour and sugar canisters back and forth. Needless to say the flour got all over the floor. So what could I do but invite her brother to come make flour angels on the floor. If you already have a mess you might as well have fun.