Hopeless. At the end of self.

cristian-palmer-QD0IqRI5HxY-unsplash                               Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash


Overturned, toppling. Water. Surrounded in water. Breathing in water. Trying to find, which way was up and which down. Was I swimming further away from my only air source or closer? Sheer panic struck. I frantically flailed my arms getting no direction fast. Without knowing, the way up, Hopeless. Helpless.

I awoke.
A nightmare? No, it was my reality for the writing portion of my heart. I let this portion of me become to large of a piece of my identity, very dangerous.
I’ve been gone for a while. Missing in action.
I felt too fragile to write.
Everything I thought I worked for got pulled out from under me. God had warned me in a dream, I would suffer great rejection and that I must rely on Him. I had heard the warning and prayed fervently—four months passed.
Rejection struck.
I thought God had called me to write on a very specific topic. Now I knew I had been leaning on my own understanding, what I thought, right. I pressed into my own wisdom and the boat overturned. What a great mercy of the Lord to stop me in my futility. However, it hurt and to be honest parts of me are still reeling.

Where am I now? A full four months more have passed.
I’m at the bottom of the lake floating in full surrender to Christ. I am no longer in fear of loss of identity or death. Death of self. I’m no longer frantically, scurrying about.
I’m learning to live again. I’m not sure what I’m doing only what I’m not.
I am not in charge.
I do not have a plan.
I can’t ‘make it happen.’
I am not who I same I am, I am who God says I am.
God is in control and I am not. He is more than enough to overcome all the obstacles in my life, including my own stubborn self.

Thank You, Jesus, for Your gentle mercies. Even when, and especially when they don’t feel gentle. I don’t want to be operating in my own understanding making my futile plans. That just doesn’t work. Thank You, for saving me from myself. Your ways are greater than my ways. Your plans for me are greater than my plans. Thank You, for loving me despite me. Help me, to rely on You. I’m helpless without You. Please cover me in the blood of the Lamb. You are more than enough for all these things, Christ, Jesus. Amen.

Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts and encourages us in every trouble so that we will be able to comfort and encourage those who are in any kind of trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (AMP)

Does the beach make everything better?


Photo by Sean O. on Unsplash

I’m pretty sure it can. The beach I frequent with my children doesn’t look like this but it still has its magical qualities. Children once fighting—cease. Mothers feeling trapped and anxious by overcrowding laundry are suddenly peaceful. Worries and strife forgotten at least for a little while. And don’t we all love that they come home exhausted!

Time in nature has a great ability to clear your head.

Lapping water mesmerizes, peace interrupted by squeals of laughter and peppered with mother’s chatter of “Don’t go out so far.” “Come back.” It all makes me smile and thank God for His gifts. I am humbled to be a cherished part of His creation.

Have you ever wondered why God made such beauty? Was it just for us to enjoy? Did He have in mind the calming quality of a magnificent view or did He want a physical reminder of the shadow of the beauty of Heaven? It’s wild to think the beauty on earth has no comparison to the views in Heaven.

Prayer: God, You are magnificent in all Your ways. You didn’t need to create Your world with such beauty but You did. Your generosity is unmatched. The glory of Heaven foretold in the beauty here on earth. We enjoy watching our children delighted. It is obvious You delight in our pleasure as we experience Your world. Remind us of Heaven when our hearts are heavy. Bring to mind the sunshine’s sparkle on the waves when we lack joy. Your faithfulness to us is great. Increase our faith in You. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

MAY – Ugh!, Mom fails


Crazy- May schedules!!!


I can’t even begin to tell you all my recent mess-ups. UGH!New Sassy Emojis Will Be Released With iOS Software Update

May is a test to a mother’s sanity, wallet and most definitely patience.

Thank God we serve a loving God who already has a plan to lift us up when we fail.


“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

Lamentations 3:22-23  (NIV) 


I am very sure that my May schedule would consume me if I didn’t have God on my side.

Prayer: We praise You for Your faithfulness when we fail. Grant us the patience to continue to move forward even when we are exhausted. The over-abundance of grace to freely flow to others and the mind of Christ to juggle the blessings that You have given us. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.




Struggling Learner.

les-anderson-215208-unsplashPhoto by Les Anderson on Unsplash

To the discouraged mother who sees her child struggling to learn:

Everyone is in the process of learning. Some are learning good and useful things and others are learning hurtful or bad things, but we are all in process.

Learning doesn’t just take place in school and the truly important stuff rarely does.

If you or your children are struggling to learn what their teachers, and more importantly what God is teaching, consider declaring the following prayer over your family and loved ones.

Prayer: I declare the whole (insert family name) family will learn, remember, assimilate, integrate and apply what God is teaching us about His kingdom and for His kingdom. In the mighty name of Jesus and by the power of the blood. Amen. 

My goal is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Colossians 2:2-3  (NIV)


jeremy-bishop-14593-unsplashPhoto by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

Heart pounding, body aching and an irrefutable overwhelming stench of the impossible robbed her of her breath. What now? Would her legs propel her forward? They shook in weakness; unable to stand fully erect she fumbled for the keys. Where to now?

There was nowhere to go…

I have read Exodus, the Israelites miraculous escape from the Egyptian oppressors, several times but it struck me today with a new insight. The power and difficulty of standing still and waiting.

The Israelites flee through the desert only to reach an impassable place, the Red Sea. The Lord does not hide his intent. He on purpose puts the Israelites in a place they can’t escape from and sends a force against them they can’t defeat. What is He teaching us for today?

And then…

“all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land.” Exo. 14: 21b

There is no mention of the time required to dry the soaked seabed for all the animals, carts and people to move through or how long before the Egyptians pursued. We can only imagine the terror and panic God’s people felt.

Some of my waiting periods have been hours short, some days long and still others years of groaning. No matter the amount of time, the terror of the “enemy” right behind us is physically present and the glory of the Lord is above us.

I confess there are times I lack the proper amount of trust and awe of the Lord. The circumstance seems too hard. If this is true of you, let me encourage you. Read on further after God orchestrates the miraculous escape.

And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.” Exo. 14:30

They didn’t put their trust in Him fully until after His mighty display of salvation was complete. I believe because He shows us this scripture that we can display the faith now for this moment, that will be given to us after we receive our deliverance. God is outside of the restraints of time. We do not have to wait. Do not wait until you see the deliverance to believe it.

Praise now;

believe now

because of who He says He is.

The Israelites had waited for over 430 years for a miracle and their faith was lacking. Even if you haven’t seen a miracle for what feels like 430 years believe for it, anyway. Join forces with other Christ followers who can remind you of the God you serve.


Prayer: Let our eyes concentrate on You. Let our focus be on the ever-present God more than capable of a miracle. Silence the terror of the enemy; the disease, financial ruin, syndrome, or our children’s struggles so we might hear Your still small voice. Remind us to remain still and see the glory of the Lord move. Give us the strength to stand, for however long that takes. We put our trust in You. Increase our trust, Lord. Grant us the awe and trust of the Lord at the level of our future selves, who have already walked out on the other side on dry land. Thank You, Jesus, Amen.


Impossible… I don’t think so.


 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26  (NIV)

I found this little block of inspiration at Hobby Lobby and have it as a reminder above my keyboard. I work for God and not man and with Him all things are possible.


Prayer: Lord Jesus, You have called me to what appears to be impossible. I acknowledge You in all things and believe that You are greater than anything the world has to throw at me. Sustain me during this time and keep my eyes on You. You are my redeemer and savior. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.

Look, Mom!

To Strengthen a Mother's Heart


“Look, Mom!  Come on, come on- they hatched, they hatched.”

There is nothing like the enthusiasm of a four year old. My daughter is creative, intelligent and her enthusiasm holds no bonds.  This of course means my house is in a constant state of chaos as it staggers under the pull of her latest creative explosion.

As you can see in her enthusiasm to see the newly dyed eggs hatch, into baby chicks. She helped the hatching. By squeezing them till they exploded she didn’t even wait for the paint to dry. (only for my back to be turned)

Did baby chicks receive liberation from their shells?

No, definitely not.

My daughter lacked the understanding that hard boiled eggs did not in fact house cute fuzzy chicks desiring a good cuddling. They did however house a big mess.

Proverbs 19:2  (NIV) Desire without knowledge is not good—    

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Hope carried.

kiran-valipa-1290449-unsplashPhoto by Kiran Valipa on Unsplash

My heart is aching, ripped open, and left without words.

The Lord has bound my heart to a sister in Christ, as we walk together neither knew why he was strengthening our relationship. In the wake of a tragedy unfolding—it is obvious now.

There are times we must carry the hope of those we love. Those the Lord has bound us too on this journey of life. Nothing is easy about our walk, the Bible warns we will experience trouble (John 16:33). Yet we are still taking off guard when those we love are faced with what appear to be insurmountable things: death, divorce, and abandonment.

I do not ask Him to take away the pain but ask for spiritual eyes to lift up His will and sovereign plan so that I might agree with Him. I refuse to agree with the enemy’s plan for death.

Rise up caregiver’s heart and stand in the gap, and carry the hope of those that God binds your heart to. Joy will come in the morning.

Prayer: Give us the strength to do what you have called us to do. Help us to say our best yes to You even when we are unsure of the outcome. Teach us how to carry the hope of those who falter. We stand in the gap for our loved ones and plead the blood of the Lamb over their eyes to see Your great work, their ears to hear Your voice in the empty times, their hearts to a depth yet uncovered to receive the fullness of what Christ has for them. Teach us to stand in the pain not unflinching but unrelenting to the lies of the enemy. We say yes to Your sovereign plan. We say yes to provision for our hearts. We say yes to hope and no to anguish, despair, and hopelessness. In Jesus, mighty name. Amen.


Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lam. 3:22-23 NIV)

Worship from Revelations

Taken from the book of Revelations, this worship was spoken or sang by the servants of God, whether that be from the Saints or the angels, it is typed below in the order it was presented.

“Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God, the Almighty, who was and who is and who is to come. Worthy are You, our Lord and our God to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created.

Worthy are You to take the book and to break its seals; for You were slain and purchased for God with Your blood men from every tribe and tongue and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to our God; and they will reign upon the earth. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power and riches and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing. To Him who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb, be blessing and honor and glory and dominion forever and ever.

Salvation to our God who sits on the throne and to the Lamb.  Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever. Amen.

The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of His Christ; and He will reign forever and ever.

We give You thanks, O Lord God, the Almighty, who are and who were, because You have taken Your great power and have begun to reign. And the nations were enraged, and Your wrath came and the time came for the dead to be judged and the time to reward Your bond-servants the prophets and the saints and those who fear Your name, the small and the great, and to destroy those who destroy the earth.

Great and marvelous are Your works, O Lord God, the Almighty; Righteous and true are Your ways, King of the nations! Who will not fear. O Lord, and glorify Your name? For You alone are holy; For all the nations will come and worship before You,For Your righteous acts have been revealed.

Yes, O Lord God, the Almighty, true and righteous are Your judgements.

Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God;

Because His judgements are true and righteous; for He has judged the great harlot who was corrupting the earth with her immorality, and He has avenged the blood of His bond-servants on her.

Hallelujah her smoke rises up forever and ever. Amen. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! For the Lord our God the Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready. It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.”


Then John heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. Behold, I am making all things new.”

The last quote is declared from God Himself,  seated on His throne.

I suggest declaring this worship out loud over your household in acknowledgement of His glory and Lordship over this earth.